I love cruise holidays and I hope to take many, many more of them. I want to experience all types of ships, and all types of itineraries. You name it, I’m up for it.
Except there is one type of cruise I won’t be taking. Ever. And I’m not just saying that out of self interest.
Apparently, there’s a growing trend towards adults’ only “nude cruises”, where the wearing of clothes is actively discouraged.
Some of them are billed as being “natural” or even “erotic”, but I couldn’t think of anything worse. I have no desire to see vast numbers of people letting it all hang out on the lido deck, nor would I want to impose my bare flesh on anybody else (except under mutually informed and agreed private circumstances).
The latest “clothing-optional cruise” that has come to my attention will be aboard the Azamara Quest, which has been chartered for the occasion by a company called Desire.
The second Mediterranean offering by the company, the cruise will travel from Barcelona to Rome, via Marseilles, Monte Carlo, Portofino and Florence, in April 2018.
The promoters say passengers will be able to enjoy exclusive amenities, adult-orientated entertainment, provocative theme nights, culinary experiences and sensual staterooms.
But I don’t care. Not only do I not want to be on one of those cruises, I don’t want to take the next cruise on the same ship. Maybe I’ll join a normal, clothes-compulsory cruise after it’s had a thorough cleaning.