When I look back at my younger self, I still cringe at some of the ridiculous things I did to try to catch the attention of members of the opposite gender. The things I said and did, and the choices I made, in the pursuit of love still shape my character and my future. To argue, as some people have in relation to Jonestown, Chris Masters' biography of extremely influential broadcaster Alan Jones, that a person's sexuality is irrelevant is ridiculous.

During an outside broadcast by Brisbane radio station 4BC, announcer Peter Dick approached a woman who was collecting money for a breast cancer charity. When he discovered she was the mother of 612 ABC's Spencer Howson, Dick said: "You're the mum of a big radio star." Spencer's mother apparently replied: "Not as big, in kilos, as you!"

When I was living in Hong Kong, a young female friend of a friend had some local workmen around on a sweltering hot day. Trying out her Cantonese, she meant to say: "If you fix my airconditioning, I will be eternally grateful." However, what she really said was: "If you fix my airconditioning, I will give you my body." I tell this story because it's funny and it's instructive. I see so many badly composed signs and overhear so much inexact conversation, that I really wonder what it would be like to be a non-English-speaking tourist in this country.

A Brisbane hardware chain has some back-bus ads declaring, "Can't stop graffiti, can help you cover it", with the implication that they'll sell you the paint to paint over somebody else's vandalism. But I wonder where the vandals get their paint from in the first place? I'm sure this chain has some procedures in place not to sell spraypaint to would-be graffitists, but somebody is cashing in from both sides here.

What have we done to deserve this? As I said on the ie blog:

There's nothing like a good turkey-slapping to renew interest in a flagging TV series. Network Ten and producers Endemol Southern Star have issued a media release today confirming that Big Brother will be back in 2007. Ominously, Southern Star Group chief executive officer Hugh Marks says: “Big Brother will continue to entertain audiences for many years to come.” Not this audience member, I'm afraid.