It's been a little while since my last encounter, so I was little surprised to be trapped behind a psychic pedestrian today. You know what I mean, the type of person you're following along a street who walks very slowly but has the uncanny knack of moving in exactly the right direction at the right time to stop you from passing them. They were very common when I live in Hong Kong - in fact, they used to work in packs, swaying across the pavement in formation to prevent anyone from getting anywhere they wanted to go in a reasonable period of time.

Greetings to my reader/s on the Cocos (Keeling) Islands. My latest web statistics say I've had 18 hits from there so far this month. Thanks, too, to the many Americans who drop by here, be they from commercial networks, government, educational institutions or the military, they are fighting the good fight for this site. I have also had very-welcome visitors from Australia (naturally), Germany (perhaps something to do with my original family name of Doeberitz), Britain, Canada, The Seychelles, Japan, Thailand, Portugal, Sweden, Brazil, Poland, The Netherlands, the Russian Federation, Dominican Republic, Egypt, Turkey and Taiwan. Salutations to you all, and please tell your friends how much fun we're having here! (ell, I'm having fun. If you're not, you must be a masochist (but welcome never

In Vancouver, apparently, there's been some "juvenile and hostile" behaviour towards female firefighters as they strip down to don their protective gear before racing out to do their job. So what answer have the authorities come up with? Buying all firefighters four pairs of "gender neutral" boxer-style underwear, of course. Plan B is to provide gear firefighters can slip over their normal work clothes so they don't have to strip down. It would simply make too much sense to weed out the purveyors of the "juvenile and hostile" behaviour, I suppose.

YouTube has been asked to remove 1000 sports clips from its site because they may violate copyright rules. The good news is that I have waived my rights to this clip of my guinea pigs on YouTube, meaning you can watch it as often as you like.

More bad news in the paper today about Queensland's crumbling infrastructure. It annoys me to think that the morons we've elevated to public office have spent 30 years crowing about how many people are moving to our state while doing nothing to cope with the influx. Our vegie patch will die because soon we won't be able to water it. Or will we? I have a cunning plan: rather than just collect grey water in a bucket in the shower, why not run a pipe from the bathroom to an irrigation system in the backyard and take the world's longest shower until the watering is done? I know it's irresponsible, but no more so than the level of reckless idiocy we've had in high places for decades.

Apparently the Queensland Media Awards were held last week, and I'm pretty disappointed that my name wasn't among the winners. Sure, I didn't enter, but I think my contribution has been so outstanding that they should have sought me out. Who else in the Queensland media has had the guts to confront the issue of mindless leaf-blowers? Who else dared expose the psychic pedestrians who loiter in our streets up the no good? Who has tackled the institutionalised sexism in Brisbane's wait-staff who insist on giving the change to me even though my wife has paid? Who exposed the fact that most supermarket checkout operators don't know a zucchini from a cucumber? Me! That's who. Where's my award?